Sunday, 16 December 2012

life and lemons

Because what the fuck are you supposed to do with a lemon.


Tuesday, 11 December 2012

a test of self-discipline

Lesson learned: He who can suck on candy without chewing... can do ANYTHING.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

I do an hour of sit ups everyday

Like, seriously.

I'm still not hot.

Lesson for the day:  Being fat and unhealthy is much easier. Much much easier.

Monday, 3 September 2012

random stuff about me which you don't really care about but I'll post it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to write about

But before that, I shall show you guys a photo of my most decent drawing homework.  I'm secretly proud of it. Because it looks fucking awesome.

For me, anyway.

It's cool 'cause I just copied it from Faber Castell.

Also, the horse's ears are missing 'cause the stupid Eco-pencils logo thing was blocking it.
Stupid evil eco-friendly pencils. Mutilating innocent horses.

Now for the random stuff about me:

I have no sense of balance.  I can fall over even when I'm just standing still.  I am not exaggerating.


I like math.  

A lot.  This is why I don't have much friends.

I have a tendency to like guys named Mark.

...and Luke, and Matthew. This is my subconscious's way of trying to be holy.

It turns me on when guys stretch not in a LOOK-I-have-muscles way but in an ahhhh-it-feels-great-to-stretch way.  Which is not good for me because our Trig teacher stretches a lot for some reason and it's distracting 'cause he has nice arm muscles.

I tend to like guys who are between 24 and 34 years old.  Which means I end up crushing on most of my teachers.  Which is kinda weird.

Lesson for the day:  Our Trig teacher is sexy.  And he likes math too and OMG WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. 

Saturday, 25 August 2012

my drawing was so realistic it started talking to me

Me: You look terrible.

Self-portrait: Dude, I'm just you. Except I'm made of graphite.

Me: Don't science me at 4AM.

Self-portrait: "Graphite" isn't exactly science-y.

Me: Shut up you're still ugly as fuck and therefore have no right to talk.

Self-portrait: Since I'm basically just a copy of you, doesn't that mean you've no right to talk too?

Me: No you're not. You look nothing like me. Now shut the flip up while I try to make you look decent.

Self-portrait: There's nothing you can do to make me look decent-er. You are trying to draw yourself right?

Me: Point taken.

My self-portrait has no sense of respect.

Lesson for the day:  Visual Arts homework should not be done at the last minute. Also, don't talk to portraits.

Thursday, 16 August 2012

oh hey would you look at the, uh.. month. IT'S ALREADY AUGUST!


**I was supposed to post this last week because classes were suspended for the whole week last week.  Because of the rain. But I got lazy and didn't finish writing this so.

I can explain why I've been gone for more than two months (you might not have noticed but the last post was actually scheduled a month in advance) but that would be boring since all I've done during my hiatus was fill up college applications and pretend to study for the entrance exams.

Yeah, I'm a good student, I am.

And now I shall post irrelephant photos because I don't know to say.


Guys, meet JG Quintel.

He is cute sexy when he's drawing the voice of Mordecai and creator of Regular Show. And if you don't know what Regular Show is, you're probably too busy hating yourself and OMG YOU SHOULD JUST KILL YOURSELF.

Just kidding.

Because I'm like Jesus.

My face is awesome.

Maybe I should tell you guys about my (SUPER EXTREMELY SHORT) break as part of my (futile) attempt to bring this blog back to life.

But nothing interesting really happened.

Well, actually the UPCAT was pretty interesting but since none of you are from here, you won't understand anything I have to say about it. I should talk about something universal like... the reproductive system. Or something.

Maybe I should just talk about how gross periods are. Like how sometimes, the blood that comes out is sorta jelly-like; and how you can feel it oozing out of your uterus and passing through your cervix and the other parts on its way out on really hot days; and when you look in the toilet and see a mass of partly coagulated blood which suspiciously looks like a bloody 2-month old fetus doing gymnastics floating around in your pee, you're gonna think OMIGOD IS THAT MY ABORTED BABY? or something like that.

But periods are gross so I won't talk about it in detail, no.

... How about circumcision?

Lesson for the day: I should be kept away from teachers when I'm sleep-deprived and on my period.