|I didn't Google "sexy black ass in action" I swear.|
Last week, I stubbed my toe on an exposed pipe thingy. (Oh, joy.) A bit of skin came off... and a bit of flesh did too, I think. But who cares! Angry Birds Space was trending in Russia last week AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.
Also, I once flirted with a 33-year-old dude on Omegle.
Here's a picture of an obese cat to prove it.
|Just in case you're wondering, the blue thing isn't a tongue or a misplaced dick.|
It's a fish.
The cat knows everything.
I wish I were the cat. I want to know everything and be happy being fat and live forever and this sentence has no parallelism here have a cookie.
|Oh hey a shuffling cardman.|
And now at this point, some of you may be thinking "Ross, what the fuck are you trying to tell us."
Well, beats me.
Jk. What I'm is trying to tell you is that with love, anything is possible. A little piece of chocolate can look like shit and taste like shit. Cards can shuffle themselves and cigarette smoking can harm your children.
But let's just not think about the pointless-ness of this post. Let's think about God instead. Or pizza. Or just think about stabbing that guy behind you. Because I really have no idea what I'm supposed to write about because NOTHING. IS HAPPENING. IN MY LIFE. (Yes, it's summer. And I am still grounded. Sucks, no?) And asking me or yourself or anyone else about what Ross is trying to say will be a waste of brain cells. So please. For the hungry children in Africa. Shower.
Hopefully, my cow drawing will be enough to make up for wasting your time and internet space!
Are we good?
Haha, just kidding.
Since I obviously have nothing important to share with you people, I shall just give you some life-changing advice.
1. Don't forget to lock your house/car/dog door when you leave your house/car/dog.
2. Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health.
3. Don't get pregnant.
Now I shall impart some golden skateboarding knowledge with you. When skateboarding, make sure to always wear your best sneakers.
...And nothing else.
Meet my mentor:
And on a totally unrelated note, last week, I stole my dad's neighbor's internet. Oh, the beauty of WiFi.
Lesson learned: Putting a lot of photos in a post can make it more bearable.
PS: I LIKE BIG LETTERS.
PPS: I also like big ellipses.
I am happy.
PPPS: Oh hey look I almost forgot! I got an award from Hazel.
THANK YOU HAZEL. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR BLOG!
I LOVE YOU ALL HERE YOU CAN HAVE A MIRROR WITH SANTA'S REFLECTION!
AND A TOILET