because nothing ever happens to me when I'm awake, I'll tell you about the illegal stuff I do in my dreams

I am Marie.

Marie.

Well no, not really. I have arms.

Arms!

But that's not the point.

This is.
Jk.
Please laugh.

Anyway.

The point is, I live a double life.

I'm a boring kid with no arms by day.

Marie.

And a machete-d psychotic murderer in a Mario costume by night.  (Like Zoe Kohler in The Third Deadly Sin. Minus the machete. And the Mario costume. So not really like Zoe Kohler. But she has arms!)

With arms!

These are my friends.

They're not very bright.

We enjoy murdering our teachers.

(Well, no not really. Some of them are actually pretty cool.)

We strike at malls.

Mall.
Just pretend it looks like one.

We ambush teachers at dressing rooms.

Unfortunately, our teachers always come prepared.

And since my friends aren't very bright (when they show up in my dreams anyway) I end up having to rescue them.

We end up being chased by other teachers around the mall, dangerously jumping from floor to floor to escape their deadly clutches. And because this is my dream, I get to rescue all my friends.

Sadly, we don't get to slay the teachers.

And because I am bi and slightly perverted (and again, because this is my dream)...

^ My girlfriend who doesn't know
we're in a relationship.
( I'm talking about the girl in the Luigi costume. 
Luigi isn't my girlfriend, okay? He's not a girl. )

And so our story ends with Mario and Luigi losing their manhood. 

Also, did you know that people find my blog by Google-ing "cow drawing" and "muscle men naked"?

Lesson for the day: More naked and cow photos = more views. Will convert this blog into a cow porn site.