Friday 6 April 2012

how's your (holy) week?

Jesus just "died" a couple of hours ago and I'm obsessively Googling shirtless photos of Ian Somerhalder.

I'm going to hell.

Off with your clothes!

BUT COME ON WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO FUCK THAT?

If I were a guy, I'd totally go gay for him.  ...Well, not really.  But I'd be proud of my girlfriend for cheating on me if it's with him.  Yay morals!

I DO.

SORRY, GOD.

As penance, I thought I'd do something Jesus-related.

So I Googled "shirtless Jesus."

Not exactly what I expected.

I got shirtless photos of a different Jesus.  I didn't think people actually named their kids Jesus. Jesus.

Anyway.  Holy week.


I hate it. 

Okay, not really hate.  I find it... very troublesome.  I see it as a huge blip in my road to happiness.  Imagine happiness to be a land filled with bacon, fried chicken, ribs, and other meat stuff.  Good Friday would be like having a heart disease.

Also, I had to visit seven churches yesterday.  I had to visit SEVEN churches just to pray.  Do you have any idea how hot it was yesterday?  I felt like I was being cooked with the fatty food we're not allowed to eat.  But I guess it wasn't a total loss.  I saw dogs having a threesome yesterday so I guess it's alright.

So here's another photo of Ian.

Damn right you are.



Lesson for the day: Ian is very hot.



OH LOOK I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT JESUS.

Look at his abs.
HI JESUS.
Again, I'm sorry, God.
That's the lack of meat talking.

8 comments:

  1. Look at the abs on Jesus. The real Jesus. There are actually plenty of kids out there called Jesus, it's not really that big a deal. I think you've spent your time wisely staring at that man. I think Jesus would forgive you as long as you shared some of your photo collection with him.

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  2. Damn. How'd you know about my collection of shirtless Jesus pictures?

    I didn't know a lot of kids are called Jesus. It's kind of a big thing here if you're named after a biblical character.

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  3. Needs more Black Jesus up in hurr.

    Black Jesus has both the arms AND the chest to back up them abs.

    I'm just sayin'...

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  4. Ian Somerhalder!! :O Love the Vampire Diaries!!x

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  5. I celebrated by drowning chocolate rabbits to make hot chocolate and melting Peeps in my cocoa. 'Twas a good Easter.

    -Barb the French Bean

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  6. If you got your meat injected intravenously, would that count?

    One of the things on my bucket list is to see a dog threesome. I am so jealous.

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  7. waaaah! the mean, gorgeous and hottie star of TVD-Damon! omg! why does he have to be so damn yummy?

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  8. I had a witty, brainy comment, but then I kept scrolling back up to look at Ian. Now the only thing I have going through my mind is yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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