Saturday, 3 December 2011

math never ceases to amaze me and make me say "what the fuck is this shit" (with poems!)

Remember the competition I mentioned in my previous post? Yeah. It was HORRIBLE.

The first round was the elimination round. I thought we were going to work on the questions as a team. Turns out, we would each get a questionnaire then answer it individually. Then they're going to add up our scores and the top 24 teams can move on to the next round. And since I only started training last Thursday, I didn't really learn that many techniques yet. And since I'm only a junior, I have no idea what in the world cosines and sines are. (We haven't discussed it yet.) So our coach told me to just skip the trig questions and just answer the ones I know. Also, I couldn't guess 'cause the test wasn't multiple choice and it's a right-minus-wrong kind of test. I pep talked myself for even just the tiniest bit of confidence. We got to the examination room and we were given instructions. They handed out the questionnaires, face down, and we waited for the signal to start answering. We heard the whistle.

I flipped the questionnaire.

And the world fell apart.

The US sank 500 feet beneath the ocean. The Pacific Ring of Fire exploded. The hungry children in Africa... well, they're still hungry. The building burned down to ashes. Everyone in the room dropped dead and all of my so-called preparation flew out the shattered window of my dreams.

Well, at least that's how I personify the "Easy" question. Oh dear Lord, I cannot wait to get to the "Average" and "Difficult" questions. (Sarcasm hand, anyone?)

Since words are not enough to describe my horrific time in that forsaken examination room, I'll still use words! But with rhyme and measure. (I'm not good at this so bear with me.)

Thirty-eight questions of pure mindfuck
All I could count on was stupid luck
I sat there like an imbecile duck
All I could think of was "what the fuck"

The matron was watching us dying crying solving
With a sneer and silent eyes, mocking.
Instead of solving, I was thinking
Of beating her with a tripod ring

When the whistle came to end our pain
I heard a scream from my poor maimed brain.
Battered and stabbed poked with a pointy cane
Lay before me, my dignity, slain

Exit the room, silent as a mime
My ego's carnage, a heinous crime.
Safe to say, it was not a fun time.
This last line's just for the sake of rhyme

Actually, I had a fun time laughing at myself afterwards. When I finally learned to accept my glorious failure, I gave myself a pat on the back for erroneously guessing answering 4 questions! And that's saying something. Although that probably gave me a negative score. 

While we were waiting for the van that was supposed to take us back to school, I saw a cat sleeping under a car. I stared at it for a little while. Then its foot twitched. Then its leg kicked. Then later, its whole butt was shaking and it looked hilarious. Although I had to suppress my laughter 'cause I'd look crazy laughing by myself.

There's something humorous
In a cat's twitching behind.
To see a sleeping cat convulse
Makes me laugh in my mind.

Because of this cat, I hide
But I am not lost, don't worry.
In the dark recesses of my mind,
You shall find a hysterical me.

Oh! And good news: we're in the top 100!

Because only a hundred teams were competing. Oh yeah.

Lesson for the day: Consider a career in poetry. Or maybe not.

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