Thursday, 8 December 2011

on lies and horrible voices

So! Our tests are in a few days. And to help us prepare for this, our school decided to have a songfest the week before exams! Which happens to be tomorrow. And if there's one thing I've learned from two weeks of practicing while cramming for projects and homework, it's that not everyone's born with a golden voice. Not even silver. 

But let me explain this whole songfest thingy first. This songfest is supposed to be a competition between the classes in each batch. The whole batch is given a piece to practice. Our grumpy music teacher is supposed to teach us the notes and stuff and we're supposed to practice with our classes 'til we perfect the piece and make everyone listening feel like they're surrounded by a choir of angels. Each class is divided into four voices: soprano1 (the highest), soprano2 (melody. lucky bastards), alto1 (low second voice), and alto2 (err, lower than alto1. also, I am in this voice 'cause soprano2 was full).  And these four voices combined are supposed to sound like said choir of angels. Then the judges decide which class performed best and said class wins!

And since we all have better things to do than practice (like school work that count for 50% of our grades), we don't! And it doesn't really help with our situation. So we're all just really preparing ourselves for ultimate humiliation tomorrow. In front of parents, teachers, and professional singers our wonderful school invited to be judges. *shudders*

Since our school prioritizes academics*, instead of practicing tomorrow before the songfest proper, we're having classes! So that means today's the last day for practice and our voices still sound like crap! But at least we learned the value of friendship and teamwork, right? Uh. Yes... that's somewhat right, I guess.

*That's totally why they scheduled the songfest the week before exams. So we can cram our eyes and livers out next week. Hooray! 

Although we didn't really learn anything about friendship or teamwork, we did learn to love our teachers more! Also, we learned never to believe a single compliment that comes out of their mouths. Even though it was meant to motivate us. Nevertheless, we still love them for trying!

When they said "That's great! You're getting better!" with all sincerity, I thought we had a chance at winning. Or at least being declared a runner-up. They made us believe that we sang like this:

That's us in the back, as a choir of angels. Supposedly.

When in reality, we sounded like this:

That's us in the back, proclaiming the apocalypse with lots of out of place sharps and flats.
And yes, that man's ears are bleeding.

A classmate recorded our song and when we heard it, we were expecting something... heavenly. Or something close to that. Well, I guess hell is sorta close to heaven. (Lucifer and God were once buddies, right?) Oh, well. I just hope to still have my dignity after tomorrow. 

To prepare for tomorrow's festivity, I am eating extra sweet oatmeal cookies, high-in-sugar chocolate brownies, and I am currently drowning myself in ice cold water while wallowing in self pity and shame.

Lesson for the day: Teachers are lying calculators.

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