Wednesday, 25 January 2012

i can't breathe (coping with snot)

You know what sucks worse than a lamprey? (<--TOTALLY NOT A JOKE, YEAH.)

Having a cold.

Well, no, it really doesn't, but it's still horrible when you know your immune system could've done a better job of keeping the cold bacteria/germs/who-the-hell-cares-what-they're-called out. It could interfere with your studies and then you'd fail a quiz and then you'd lose all hope and exert no effort for the rest of the school year and then you won't get into any college and then you'll have no job and then you'll die alone and the world will end ALL BECAUSE OF A COLD. (I know that last sentence was grammatically incorrect in several ways.)

And if you have a cold (which I'm pretty sure you don't), do not worry, friend. You are not alone. I am here with you. Though you're far away. Yes, that was very creepy and uncalled for.

I really have no idea where I'm going with this post, so I'll just share with you my totally gross and miserable way of coping with my cold. (My cold? A cold? Colds? Must research about the correct way to call this.)


My ingenious solution:

I recommend this method to all you sick people out there because if you're lucky, all your snot will be caught by your magical hanky when you sneeze. If not, all your snot will stick to your face and those rolled-up, snot-filled bits of tissue will stick to the face of the person closest to you.

Lesson for the day: We must tell our mothers to give our maids a raise for all the sacrifices they do for us, i.e. washing our snot-filled hankies. 

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