our research teacher better make sure she doesn't come back from the US

Let me tell you guys about my research teacher.

She is female and, given her outer appearance (one torso, two arms, two legs, one head, two eyes, hair, etc.), is (presumably) human. She's one of the very few teachers in our school who can speak fluent and formal English, which automatically means she is to be taken seriously. She hates kids, teaching, school, kids, teaching kids, and everything else related to the things I've just mentioned. Makes me wonder why she decided to be a teacher. Probably had a horrible student life and decided to take revenge on the future generations by stealing a chunk of their tuitions fees (i.e., her salary) and depriving them of a competent research teacher (by working). She should just hole up in some corner and die.

But I digress.

She has a, er.. unique (read totally ineffective) style of teaching. We're only allowed to take notes after the discussion, so if we forget even just the tiniest detail/number/word, we might as well just forget about what little hope we had of passing her class. 

Also, no one understands the lessons because she goes through them with the speed of light. Here's an accurate illustration of how our classes (if we ever have them 'cause she usually doesn't show up) go:

As you can see, I used a gingerbread man to represent her because a gingery pastry seems less intimidating and less harmful than the actual thing.

When she gives out quizzes, she never bothers to discuss the answers or give us back our papers so we have no idea if we did good or bad (but it's most likely the latter).

BUT WHY AM I HOPING THAT SHE STAYS IN THE US?

Because I might "accidentally" stab her in the eye with a sharp pencil if I ever see her in the school (or anywhere else for that matter).

You see, we have a research paper that we need to hand in at the end of the school year. We were supposed to do the actual experiment on the second and third quarter, and then finalize the paper on the fourth. She made us do the draft for Chapters 1-3 on the second quarter and we passed it with the data and observations at the end of the third quarter. 

When we got back from the Christmas break, we found out that she migrated to the US and our Chemistry teacher's substituting! All was well and good 'til we realized that she did not give us back our drafts and data. 

Our Chem teacher said we were supposed to hand our final research paper in before the finals, but we had to pass the not-final research paper by Thursday. (She told us this last Monday.) So the whole class panicked and we begged her to give us an extension. She told us she really needed to see what we've done so far and no, she couldn't give us an extension. We told her [Gingerbread] didn't give us back our draft and data so we had to start over and blah. She explained that [Gingerbread] was supposed to send those to her over the weekend but [Gingerbread] didn't so we only had to pass Chapters 1-3 on Thursday. 

That was a big relief but we still had to start over since we didn't have a copy of Chapters 1-3. [Gingerbread] told us NOT to computerize it so none of us did. And if she didn't give us back our data, we're gonna have to either a) do the experiment thing again or b) fabricate the data. 

We're all leaning towards option B.

Lesson for the day: Gingerbread men would make better research teachers.